Monday, December 24, 2018

The Substitute Santa


A 500 word short story by Scott A. Gese

December 18th, six days before Christmas eve. Santa was in his workshop going over some last minute details. He was trying out a new technique for getting down a chimney. He was hoping to shave some seconds off his entry and exit time. He cut things pretty close last year.

Santa wasn't getting any younger and he certainly wasn't in very good shape. Mrs Clause had bought him an exercise bike, but It only sat in the corner collecting dust.

Santa still had his magic to get him in and out of those tight chimneys, but his weight was beginning to slow him down. He decided to compensate by upping the power on his lift off back up to the sleigh. He tried it out on his own chimney to make sure it was going to work. He put on his gear, grabbed up a bag of toys, stepped into the fireplace and hit the switch. He blasted up the chimney like a rocket. Two of his elves happened to be outside at the time. When they heard a strange sound they turned just in time to see Santa shoot out of the chimney like a cork out of a champagne bottle. There was even a loud POP when he cleared the top.

Santa over shot the roof by a good one hundred feet. The elves couldn't believe their eyes. They had never seen Santa get that much air before. It was pretty impressive.

Unfortunately, the fall was less impressive. Toys went flying every which way. Santa showed very poor form all the way down to the roof, which he hit with a thud. He slid down to the gutter and then over the edge. When he finally hit the ground, he didn't move. The elves ran to his rescue. They were in a panic. Santa was out cold. One ran to get Mrs. Clause. She knew first aid and would be able to help.

It took half an hour to get Santa up and back into the house. He had a concussion and a broken arm. “A little too much oomph,” was all he could say.

Santa was hurting bad. Mrs. Clause gave him some Valium to ease the pain. Christmas eve was coming on fast. Something needed to be done in a hurry. Mrs. Clause took matters into her own hands. She had the elves load up the sleigh. Then she had the head elf show her how to use Santa's oomph magic. It took her a few tries up and down her own chimney, but she got the hang of it fast enough.

On Christmas eve she hitched up the reindeer, told the head elf to hop in. He knew the route and she needed his help. Then she took off. The rest of the elves were taking bets on whether she would make it to the end of the route before morning.

Not only did she make it, she beat Santa's time by over an hour.

© Copyright 2018 by Scott A. Gese All Rights Reserved.

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